Sesame Street 'N Da Hood
by FictionSchmiction
Summary: When things go horribly wrong with Bert's new "business", how far will he go to cover it all up? Note: This is an actual story. This is not just some stupid 2-minute "script" of Sesame Street characters cussing and getting high. Please take it seriously.
1. Chapter 1

**Sesame Street 'N Da Hood**

**By Joel Najera**

**Chapter One**

It was seven in the morning, and the first bright rays of sunlight were beginning to peek through the curtains on Baby Bear's window. One ray touched Baby Bear's eye, teasing, tickling, as if it was not a coincidence. Time to wake up, Baby Bear. Baby Bear's eye opened, no longer oblivious to the evidence that a new day had indeed arrived. Another sunny day on Sesame Street.

Baby Bear walked out of his room. Baby Bear smacked his lips a bit, and headed straight for the bathroom. 'Morning breath,' Baby Bear thought. 'I'll soon get rid of that!'

The door to the bathroom was not easy to open, Baby Bear, noticed. Baby Bear began to walk into the restroom, but he tripped after taking a few steps. Baby Bear rolled across the floor, his roll stopped by the tub. 'Ow, that hurt,' Baby Bear thought. But his train of thought was soon interrupted once he saw what was behind the door. He saw what he had tripped on.

Baby Bear had tripped over Curly Bear's leg. Curly Bear was slumped between the door and the wall. Baby Bear stood up and ran over to his sister.

"Cuwly Bewr? Awe you okay, Cuwly?"

Baby Bear lifted Curly's head. A small amount of vomit fell out of Curly's mouth. Baby Bear opened her mouth, and saw more vomit collected in her mouth. Baby Bear cringed, and quickly scooped it out,"

"Cuwly! Wake up!"

Baby Bear remembered something he saw once or twice. Baby Bear laid Curly flat on her back, and began to press on her chest.

"One, two, thwee..."

Baby Bear leaned forward to give his sister a breath of air, but he pulled back when he remembered the vomit he had just removed from her mouth. He contemplated the circumstances laid out before him. Baby Bear put his ear against Curly Bear's chest. He could hear a faint heartbeat. Slow, faint, but there. If he could get someone to help in time, Curly might have a chance!

Baby Bear picked up Curly, and carried her out of the house.

"Help! Can somebody help!" Baby Bear yelled.

Bert was across the street when he heard Baby Bear's cries. Bert looked both ways, and ran across the street to Baby Bear's aid.

"What's wrong?" Bert asked.

"I don't know! I found huw in the bathwoom! I think she choked on huw thwow up," Baby Bear said.

"Lay her down, lay her down!" exclaimed Bert. "Don't panic, it will only make this harder to figure out."

Bert looked at Curly Bear's body. Bert's eyes grew wide as he noticed something.

A shoestring, tied tightly around Curly's left arm.

"Oh...no..." whispered Bert. Bert appeared to be gravely stricken with grief.

"What? What wong?" said Baby Bear.

Bert dropped to his knees and began searching vigorously through the fur on Curly Bear's left arm. Bert stopped for a moment. As Baby Bear started to lean in to look, Bert slammed his fist into the pavement. A few drops of blood dripped from Bert's knuckles.

"Fuck! Goddammit!" shouted Bert. Bert picked up Curly Bear and began to run down the sidewalk.

"What, Buwt, what?!" asked Baby Bear as he began to run, trying to keep up with Bert.

"Just...shut the fuck up, and follow me! Only one thing can save her, and your questions aren't gonna do it!"

Bert ran into a building onto the left, and Baby Bear followed. Once inside, Bert ran down a hallway on the left, and shoved a door open with his right foot. Bert ran inside, and laid Curly Bear down on a hospital bed. Bert ran out of the room, bumping into Baby Bear. Bert regained his footing, and pounded on a door across the hall.

"Ernie! Get out here right now! It's an emergency!"

Ernie opened the door to the office.

"Yes, Bert?"

"No time to fuck around, Ernie. There's a girl dying in your exam room right now!"

Ernie walked into the exam room, and took a look at Curly Bear. Ernie checked Curly's vital signs. Low, but still existent. Ernie, however, looked discouraged.

"I don't know what this is, Bert. I've put band-aids on just about everyone on Sesame Street...but...I can't explain this."

"Ernie...you know what this is. What I talked to you about. Please don't make me say it. Not in front of Baby Bear." Bert said, tears forming in his eyes.

Ernie's face formed a solemn expression. Ernie found himself in a state of disbelief.

"You...you said this would never happen, Bert. You said this would never be a problem."

"Stop arguing with me, Ernie, and fix the fucking girl!"

"All I know to do...is something I saw in a movie once. I don't even know if it will work!" said Ernie.

"Well, something is better than nothing!" shouted Bert.

"Okay, okay."

Ernie opened a cabinet and pulled out a large syringe with a long needle attached. Ernie stumbled around his office and found a vial. Ernie began to fill the syringe from the vial.

"Don't look, Baby Bear." Ernie said.

"What is that?" asked Baby Bear.

"It's adren..."

"Don't explain it to him, just fucking do it already!" shouted Bert.

As soon as Baby Bear turned his head, he heard a loud, cracking thud. Baby Bear couldn't stop himself from turning his head to look. The syringe was plunged deep into Curly's chest. Ernie injected the syringe's contents, and carefully pulled out the needle.

Ernie put his stethoscope against Curly's chest. Ernie listened for a few seconds, and collapsed to the floor.

"What?" asked Bert.

"We...we were too late, Bert. She's dead."

Bert began to laugh.

"Great...that's just fucking great."

Bert looked around the room. Bert smiled, and slowly pulled a gun out of his jacket pocket. Bert began to approach Ernie, aiming the gun at Ernie's head.

"What do you think you are doing, Bert", asked Ernie.

"You know too much now, Ernie."

"I knew enough before. I've been loyal to you throughout the years. I've covered up almost every mess you've gotten yourself into." Ernie said.

"But...never this. A child died because of my operation, Ernie. You think that's just going to slip through the cracks?! I had a hard enough time making David disappear after he caught us smuggling those stolen goods. You think people will just believe Curly skipped town? What about him," Bert said, pointing at Baby Bear ", you think he is just gonna keep his yap shut? So long, Baby Bear!"

As Bert began to aim the gun at Baby Bear, Ernie tackled Bert to the ground.

"Explaining the disappearance of one kid is going to be hard enough, Bert. Make it two, and we'll have a real clusterfuck." said Ernie.

Bert nodded. Bert got up, and walked over the Baby Bear.

"Baby Bear...I am sorry for everything. This...what never supposed to happen. I don't think you really get what just happened, and I don't think you should know. I don't think I could even tell you. But just know, that I never intended anything like this to happen. I had a strict policy...no children. Someone fucked up, pal, and I am gonna fix that. But in order to do that, I need something from you. I need to know if Curly went anywhere in the last few days."

Baby Bear wiped his tears, and began to think.

"We...well, the only place we went wecently was the pawk."

Bert nodded.

"Keep this to yourself. If anyone asks, you haven't seen Curly. Do that, and I will make sure the son of a bitch who did this pays for this. I may even have a place for you in my crew. Can you keep this a secret for me?"

Baby Bear nodded. He didn't know what else to do. He couldn't tell anybody. What if Bert had him killed? What if he had killed Curly by taking her to the park? As long as Bert kept his word, maybe that would be enough for him to know that Curly got justice.

Bert helped Ernie up.

"You figure out how to clean this mess, Ernie, and keep it quiet. I've gotta go pay a visit to Telly."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Bert simply could not believe what had happened. Bert continuously cursed under his breath as he stormed towards the park.

"What the fuck was he thinking...specific fucking orders, and Telly couldn't follow them..."

As Bert got to the edge of the park, he stopped and leaned against a tree. Bert peered from behind the tree.

"Where the fuck is he?" Bert wondered.

After looking a little closer, Bert finally spotted Telly, sitting on a park bench. Bert let out a whistle. Telly looked around, and saw Bert behind the tree. Bert motioned for Telly to meet him at the tree. Telly picked up his backpack, tightened his rollerblades and skated to Bert.

"You ready already, Bert? I was gonna make the drop off after I was done for the day, but I can give you the cheese now..."

"That can wait. How's business?" Bert asked.

"It's getting better. Getting lots of referrals."

"Hey, Telly...how about we take a walk to the hideout? I wanna hear more about these referrals?"

"Sure thing, Bert. You walk, I'll skate!" said Telly."

As they headed towards the hideout, Bert contemplated how he would manage to get Telly to reveal what he knew without making him aware of the situation at hand. If Telly found out what happened, Bert would have to kill him, for sure. Ernie and Baby Bear were liabilities as it was...no need to have another.

Bert opened the door, and Telly walked inside. Bert followed, locking the door behind him.

Bert walked up to the Exam Room door, and knocked.

"Ernie! You in there?"

Ernie opened the door.

"We good?" Bert asked.

Ernie nodded.

"All taken care of." Ernie said.

"Good. Have a seat, Telly."

Telly sat down on the hospital bed. A bit damp, he noticed. Ernie left the room, and shut the door behind him. Bert sat down on a rolling stool.

"Tell me about these referrals, Telly." Bert said.

"A dime for a gram, basically. They send me someone who wants to buy a gram, I cut 'em a dime."

"Care to tell me who is referring who?" Bert inquired.

"Snuffy sent me The Count. Rather he didn't, though. Almost got me busted. 100 milligrams, ha ha ha! 200 milligrams, ha ha ha! Motherfucker wouldn't stop counting while I measured!"

"Anybody else?" Bert asked.

"Hoots sent Oscar. And Oscar hasn't been too bad of a guy since."

"Hey...did you happen to see Curly Bear yesterday?"

"Oh, yeah! She saw me in the park! I gave her a piggy back ride!" Telly recalled.

"That all that happened?"

"Yeah."

"Really, now?"

"Yeah. Just a piggy back ride."

Bert could hardly control the anger building inside him.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Telly. You know I hate that."

"What's this about, Bert?"

"I said, no fucking children. Specifically, no fucking children!"

"What do you mean..."

"No fucking children, Telly! How much clearer can I make it?!'

"That's not what I meant...I mean..."

A look of petrifying fear came over Telly's face.

"You...you don't think...that I sold to Curly, do you?"

"Who fucking else, Telly? Who else sells in the park?"

"Well, nobody, but..."

"Why did you do it, Telly? I don't care if she wanted to buy pounds, the sale is not worth exposing our fucking business, you goddamn understand me?!"

"But, Bert, I didn't..."

Bert pulled out his gun, and pressed it against Telly's head.

"Keep saying you fucking didn't! Keep saying it! You know I hate fucking lies! I will put this gun in your motherfucking mouth, and obliterate it, so you can't fucking lie to me anymore!"

"Bert, you've gotta hear me out..."

"Hear this out, motherfucker!" Bert said, tightening his grip on the gun.

"Please, Bert, don't kill me!"

Telly fell to his knees and clutched Bert's legs. Telly was sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'll do anything, Bert! Just don't pull the trigger, please!"

Bert smiled.

"Suck my dick, Telly."

Telly looked up, not believing what he had just heard.

"What, Bert? I...I can't..."

"Say good night then, Telly!"

"Okay! Okay!" Telly said, choking on his tears. Telly unzipped Bert's pants. Bert's cock rose up quickly, no longer restrained by fabric. Telly wrapped his hand around the shaft, and slowly inserted Bert's cock into his mouth.

"Yeah, that's right..." Bert said, with a smile.

Telly continued to slide his mouth up and down Bert's cock. It wasn't long before Bert was shooting a huge load down Telly's throat. Telly slid down to the floor, ashamed of what he had just done.

Suddenly, Telly felt something cold against his head.

"It was nice taking your last shred of dignity. See your ass in hell, faggot."

Before Telly could scream, two bullets entered his brain.

"No fucking children, Telly. I was clear on that. You almost cost me my business."

Bert kicked Telly's stomach, which caused Telly's head to jerk, splattering blood against the cabinets.

Ernie slowly opened the door. As he took a look around the room, he let out a deep sigh.

"Is that enough, Bert? Are all the loose ends tied now?"

Bert looked down at the floor.

"Not all of them, Ernie. But this is as tied up as it is gonna get."

Bert picked up Telly's backpack. Bert unlocked a cabinet, and placed the backpack inside.

"Ernie...you know what to do. And get me a meeting with Baby Bear. I'd like to inform him of the progress I've made...and extend him an offer to take Telly's spot in the crew."

Ernie hesitantly nodded. He did not like where Bert's new business was going, and he felt powerless to stop him.

But Ernie knew someone who could possibly remedy that.


End file.
